Hey Internet,
As some of you know, Taylor Swift as recently released a new single called Shake it Off, as well as a music video for it. The song is about all the things people say about her, and how she just brushes it off. It's fun, upbeat and wonderful. In the music video, Taylor is plunged in among a bunch of profession dancers, singing her song and dancing (in her very own Taylor-style). I personally LOVE this new song. Some complain that it isn't her style of music and she shouldn't delve into pop music. I disagree, I think she does pop very well. I'm very much looking forward to the rest of her album, 1989.
-NutFreeG
The Anything and Everything blog... (worms,paperclips and teacups!)
My Current Crazy Poll: Favorite start of summer activity?
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Something Beautiful
Are you feeling down? Depressed? Is it agony? Well, here, I am going to cheer you up with something British.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Saturday, May 3, 2014
That time...
You know that time when you've got so much stuff to do it's almost fun? Like, you've got enough stuff to throw a dance party by yourself. Enough stuff that it's like the national debt, so much it has just become larger than you. Well, I've got a lot to do. I just moved, so I've got to unpack, move stuff around, find my school books, organize things and buy rat food. As well as countless other things. I'm going to do that stuff. But first I'll have a bar of chocolate and an episode of Doctor Who...
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
The Best Candy
Hola,
Ok, so everyone knows candy is awesome...right? But some candy is way awesomer than others. Which is why I am making a list of my personal favorite candies. Just because. (This is in no particular order BTW.)
1. Rolos- Rolos are so awesome. Chocolate caramels? Yes please!
2. York Peppermint Patties- Need I say more?
3. Whoppers- They are seriously great in popcorn.
4. Milk Duds- OMNOMNOMNOM!
5. Junior Mints- First of all...NUT FREE! Yay! If you've read my baking blog (www.nutfreebakingg.blogspot.com) You'll know that I've got nut allergies and nut free stuff is awesome! Plus, they are chocolate and MINTY GOODNESS!
6. Nerds- Ever heard the expression "You are what you eat"? Well, I eat a lot of Nerds.
7. Just Plain Hershey Bars- Sometimes you just want some good old-fashioned milk chocolate. Plus...SMORES!
NutFreeG
Ok, so everyone knows candy is awesome...right? But some candy is way awesomer than others. Which is why I am making a list of my personal favorite candies. Just because. (This is in no particular order BTW.)
1. Rolos- Rolos are so awesome. Chocolate caramels? Yes please!
2. York Peppermint Patties- Need I say more?
3. Whoppers- They are seriously great in popcorn.
4. Milk Duds- OMNOMNOMNOM!
5. Junior Mints- First of all...NUT FREE! Yay! If you've read my baking blog (www.nutfreebakingg.blogspot.com) You'll know that I've got nut allergies and nut free stuff is awesome! Plus, they are chocolate and MINTY GOODNESS!
6. Nerds- Ever heard the expression "You are what you eat"? Well, I eat a lot of Nerds.
7. Just Plain Hershey Bars- Sometimes you just want some good old-fashioned milk chocolate. Plus...SMORES!
NutFreeG
Monday, April 21, 2014
10 Songs for a Sleepover with Friends
Hi!
I've made a list of great songs for a fun sleepover with your besties...enjoy!
1. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
2. Stronger (What doesn't kill you) by Kelly Clarkson
3. Brave by Sara Bareilles
4. 22 by Taylor Swift
5. People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson
6. Wings by Little Mix
7. Primadonna Girl by Marina and the Diamonds
8. Royals by Lorde
9. Team by Lorde
10. I'm Only Me When I'm with You by Taylor Swift
Hope you like them! They're some of my personal favs, and not to everybody's taste.
NutFreeG
I've made a list of great songs for a fun sleepover with your besties...enjoy!
1. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
2. Stronger (What doesn't kill you) by Kelly Clarkson
3. Brave by Sara Bareilles
4. 22 by Taylor Swift
5. People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson
6. Wings by Little Mix
7. Primadonna Girl by Marina and the Diamonds
8. Royals by Lorde
9. Team by Lorde
10. I'm Only Me When I'm with You by Taylor Swift
Hope you like them! They're some of my personal favs, and not to everybody's taste.
NutFreeG
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Nothing to say
I just realized I have nothing to blog about. But...I can blog about my lack of something to blog about. And to answer your silent question, yes, I am that bored. I've got nothing to blog about. Northing at all. And I love Doctor Who. And Doctor Who. And Doctor Who. And blogging about my love of Doctor Who. Ok, so you've probably got that I'm obsessed with Doctor Who. I've got serious fangirling issues. No judging. Anyway...bye!
NutFreeG
NutFreeG
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
How Allegiant Should Have Ended: ANY OTHER WAY THEN IT DID!!!!!!!!!!!!
Different Allegiant endings that
would have been MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!
#1: While Tobias is in the fringe, he
runs into a woman named Veronica Roth, she tells him she is a government
official that has been controlling his whole life…she confesses that she
already wrote the ending to Tris’s life, and she tells him about it. In a
panic, Tobias locks her in a room without her writing tools and runs back to
Tris, and joins her when she risks her life instead of Caleb’s. He arms himself
and ignores all her protests and threats till they’re inside. He resists the
death serum…his love for Tris is too strong to die. When they’re inside, he
shoots David on the spot, not even hesitating…Tris is extremely surprised
through all of this. But she sets of the memory serum anyway, not asking Tobias
any of the millions of questions she has. They reset everyone as planned,
though this time, Tris is ALIVE AND HAPPY and she and Tobias go and live in the
city together!!!!!!!!! AND THEY ARE ALIVE AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENS!!!!
#2: JUST THIS ONCE, EVERYBODY
LIVES!!!!! (Thank you Nine!)
#3: Tris doesn’t play “Candor” with
Caleb and she lets him go and set off the memory serum, he remembers his gun
and he shoots David. Tris and Tobias lead a happy life where they are ALIVE and
ALIVE and ALIVE AND ALIVE AND ALIVE AND ALIVE!!!!!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Random News #2
THE RANDOM NEWS
TRUTHFUL news for the world
Numbers are unhealthy!
This wonderful newspaper has
discovered a SHOCKING thing! Numbers are unhealthy! Yesterday I received a
tip-off from a 10 year old boy named Timmy that numbers had made him deathly
ill! His parents had said numbers were great and FORCED him to do his math homework!
Timmy told us that less than an hour later he started to feel sick. Several
other children have called telling me of number-sickness. So if you think
numbers are healthy…think again!
Bob the Builder….the awful truth.
Prepare yourselves folks…because this
isn’t a happy story. I have reason to believe that Bob the Builder’s REAL
identity is Barney the Breaker and that he enjoys knocking down buildings as
well as other criminal activities that we would never have thought he would do.
Also trusted little Dora is his best friend…and she is also hiding something.
Dora is actually a highly trained assassin and her sidekick boots is actually a
panda…not a monkey. I know that this comes as a horrible shock…but its
true…every word. So next time you think that Bob the Builder is a hero,
remember that he is actually a criminal!
Are blue birds robbing senior citizens?
Just hours ago my friends sisters
grandmas clients friends brothers cousins enemies great aunt called me and told
me that her hair curlers and her cookies had mysteriously disappeared. I headed
over to check for clues soon as I got off the phone. When I got there I saw
twenty thousand blue birds crowded in her trees, it was an astonishing sight! I
inspected the blue birds and I saw hints of cookies crumbs on the bottoms of
their feet and I thought that their feathers looked especially curled. I went
up and knocked on the woman’s door and told her that it was the blue birds and
that she should arrest them immediately, she told me I was her hero. I received
several other calls telling me about strange disappearances and I KNEW that
they were the birds. So if YOU live near blue birds…have them EXTERMINATED!
Here are some great services that you should use!
Burt’s bird killer….works every time!
Fancy Ollie’s expert salon…as pretty as a poodle in a lake.
Miss Jemima’s cold soup….so cold you freeze.
Old Joe’s iPod repairs…we fix it….the only price…an iPod!
Tigers are FAKE!
A few days ago I was at the zoo when
I passed a tiger that was loose from its cage. I looked around for a zoo
keeper, but found no one. So, since the tiger looked friendly, I went up and
started to pet it…but the tiger fell over! Closer inspection proved that the
tiger was CARDBOARD! And that folks…is when I made the shocking discovery that
tigers where fake.
Great movies to see:
Bo-Bo’s gorilla show
The mouse jumped over the moon
Old Grandpa Pete eats pie
The person sneezes
The computer breaks
All of these fine movies are by CHEAP MOVIE STUDIOS and are
very entertaining and informative.
Robots are mean!
Just MINUTES ago I was taking a walk
when I little girl came up to me and told me that robots were mean! It was very
disturbing news! The girl then ran away crying in a joyful sort of way. So
never think that robots are nice!
Joey the Kangaroo reads comics!
A few hours ago I received the news
that a kangaroo named Joey liked to read comics! It made me faint!
Barbie the international jewel thief!
Everyone knows about the famous
Barbie doll...but do they know what she does when she is NOT strutting around
in fluffy pink dresses? She is actually an international jewel thief that goes
by the name of Danielle Gangster the 3rd! How do I know this you
ask? Well…I’m not saying much…..but…..I have sources that know her…and have
seen her smuggling huge rubies into her house in the back of a potato truck! If
you want to know more about this thieving scoundrel then I suggest you spy on
her.
A man named Ralph lands on the moon!
Yesterday, a 55 year old man named
Ralph sneezed so hard that he was thrown into the air and he landed on the
moon. The rumor is that the aliens hate him and are about to wage a war against
him and his army of earwax! So if you know this Ralph….go into hiding! The
aliens will spare no one!
Goner’s Goat
hanging services, we’re the only ones around!
Miss Lil’s
toilet flushers, see the professionals at work!
Mary Jean’s
goatee factory, we make all kinds of goatees!
Please remember that
this newspaper is ABSOLUTLY true…it contains no lies and NEVER stretches the
truth. But all other newspapers lie…so only read this one.
Friday, February 7, 2014
The Random News #1
THE RANDOM NEWS
TRUTHFUL news for the world
Windows….smarter than they seem?
Yesterday…one
of our WONDERFUL reporters was walking down the street when she stopped in
front of the window. According to her, the window had complicated math problems
carved into it…it seems that windows are smarter than we thought! To those who
thought windows were just objects…this story will be shocking! As you read this
we have reporters all over town examining the windows and asking them questions
about their lives. Soon we will know all about the exiting species called
Windows! To read more, see our Saturday issue.
Have the
cats gone CRAZY?
Just this
morning I was sitting at the table eating breakfast when, I saw 20 cats dancing
down the street in top hats and large purple glasses! What a sight it was! I
have also received a report from a random citizen that he saw his cat doing the
tango with a Barbie doll! What has happened to the worlds cats? I am here to
tell you! Sources have said that all cats are actually aliens from the moon and
they are about to take control of the planet…so they are celebrating! We must
keep the planet in our control at all costs!
Death
by…..magazines!
On Tuesday I
received a call telling me that a person had died….while reading his magazine.
This could only mean one thing….magazines are DEADLY! I have reason to believe
that when opened, magazines release a toxic gas that is poisons the human
nostrils! So if I were you…I would stay away from magazines until further
notice. But newspapers (like this fine one) are safe.
Buzz’s bug spray! So powerful…it keeps away bears!
Please remember that
this newspaper is ABSOLUTLY true…it contains no lies and NEVER stretches the
truth. But all other newspapers lie…so only read this one.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Friday, December 27, 2013
Boredom
I am Bored. Bored with a capital B. Dunno WHY i'm bored...I just am. He he.
So I'm going to stop being bored by doing something exiting...
SURFING THE WEB!!!! Yeah...I know...soooooo extremely interesting! Ha ha...very funny.
But I just want to say that I shall review a book on here in a little while called "Counting by 7s" by Holly Goldberg Sloan (and don't worry! It is most definitely not about little kid math...or any math at all!!!!!!!!) and it is super inspirational and awesome and sad and I seriously cried bucket fulls. But it is also a book about finding yourself and bringing joy back into your life. Anyway...I'll review it in a little while...and then you've GOT TO READ IT! So...going to serf the web now...
NutFreeG
So I'm going to stop being bored by doing something exiting...
SURFING THE WEB!!!! Yeah...I know...soooooo extremely interesting! Ha ha...very funny.
But I just want to say that I shall review a book on here in a little while called "Counting by 7s" by Holly Goldberg Sloan (and don't worry! It is most definitely not about little kid math...or any math at all!!!!!!!!) and it is super inspirational and awesome and sad and I seriously cried bucket fulls. But it is also a book about finding yourself and bringing joy back into your life. Anyway...I'll review it in a little while...and then you've GOT TO READ IT! So...going to serf the web now...
NutFreeG
Thursday, December 26, 2013
EOS Lipbalm!
Morning,
I'd like to say thanks to the blog Le Renifleur Leopard for reviewing the EOS Lipbalm. After reading the review I went out and bought one and then I received another one for Christmas. EOS Lipbalm is literally my favorite...best Lipbalm ever. If you want to see the reviews that Julia did on Le Renifleur Leopard you can go to:
www.lerenifleurleopard.blogspot.com
The blue one is cool mint I think and the red one is Pomegranate Rasberry. SOOO awesome!
Best Lipbalm ever. Seriously.
NutFreeG
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Happy Christmas!
Happy Christmas! Or Merry Christmas...depending on the place you live or your crazed obession with everything British (#ProjectBeBritish!)
Anyway...Ho, Ho, Ho and Happy Christmas (once again...British obession!) I hope you had a great Christmas (if you celebrate the holiday, otherwise...Happy Boxing Day, Belated Hannukah and Winter Solstice...and any other holiday I missed that happens around this time of year!) I had a seriously nice Christmas...but it felt like the holidays just snuck up on me and screeched "BOO!" into my ear...I was not expecting this. It feels like it was just LAST Christmas! But...this morning felt all "jolly"...as I was woken up by my mom and brother with a very LOUD chorus of "Jingle Bells" which made me wonder...is there such thing as Death-by-Christmas-Carols? But...I had DELISH cinnamon buns for breakfast this morning...steaming hot and spread with sticky cream cheese frosting! We made too many cinnamon buns to handle though...as we accidently doubled the already huge batch...and ended up with enough rolls to serve a big party of full grown people. Yum. Looks like I know what I'll be eating for the next few days... *sighs dreamily*
Once again...hope you had a happy holiday!
NutFreeG
Anyway...Ho, Ho, Ho and Happy Christmas (once again...British obession!) I hope you had a great Christmas (if you celebrate the holiday, otherwise...Happy Boxing Day, Belated Hannukah and Winter Solstice...and any other holiday I missed that happens around this time of year!) I had a seriously nice Christmas...but it felt like the holidays just snuck up on me and screeched "BOO!" into my ear...I was not expecting this. It feels like it was just LAST Christmas! But...this morning felt all "jolly"...as I was woken up by my mom and brother with a very LOUD chorus of "Jingle Bells" which made me wonder...is there such thing as Death-by-Christmas-Carols? But...I had DELISH cinnamon buns for breakfast this morning...steaming hot and spread with sticky cream cheese frosting! We made too many cinnamon buns to handle though...as we accidently doubled the already huge batch...and ended up with enough rolls to serve a big party of full grown people. Yum. Looks like I know what I'll be eating for the next few days... *sighs dreamily*
Once again...hope you had a happy holiday!
NutFreeG
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
My Novel:)
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night,
I'd just like to put the first chapter of my Steampunk novel...Frozen in the Space of My Heart:)
NutFreeG the novelist;)
BTW...this is totally un-edited, so I apologize for any strange grammar mistakes or mistypes or general weird-ness...I have not taken the time to edit;)
I'd just like to put the first chapter of my Steampunk novel...Frozen in the Space of My Heart:)
A young lady strolling about on a lovely
Friday morning attracts no suspicion. She may do the most curious of things and
voice her most wicked thoughts, and it will all be dismissed as “petty
emotions” that come with being a lady. If a young man was walking about on a
lovely Friday morning, it would mostly be called “lurking” and people would
keep their eyes open. Because no one suspects a lady to ever do anything of
harm. People are naïve, are they not? I am a respectable young woman of the age
of nineteen and my name is Permelia Snitchtree, I am taking a delightful turn
about the public gardens of small town Little Hill, England. I appear to be
perfectly harmless. Never judge by appearances. I take a deep breath and brush
my honey-colored locks away from my eyes and pretend to gaze at some flowers…my
actual target is sitting on the ground laughing wildly at something no one can
see. My employer said she was crazy, but I thought she might have SOME dignity!
The nerve of the girl! My petticoat swishes in the tall grass, making small
noises that are impossible to erase. If I wasn’t a lady of a proper family, I
would probably try out men’s attire and get rid of the bothersome skirts…but I
am that lady. The gardens really are beautiful, they tug at my emotions…easing
them out into the open where they are vulnerable. I could almost say I was
happy…NO! I was being silly…acting like a child and pretending life was all
about me! I came here to do something, and I mean to do it right this minute! I
slip my hand into my “handbag” and pull out my rusted old gun. It isn’t
anything special, just a Spire 76, very old fashioned and not always useful. I
always destroy my weapons after using them, for I can’t carry a Cog 89 everywhere
I went, could I? But I have gotten rather attached to this old model, and
despite my hate of anything that I got “attached” to, I kept it. I stare at the
gun fondly as I put pressure on the trigger, the bullet fires and I watch in
slow motion as it hits the laughing woman in the back. I fire another quickly
in her head and pull out another gun. I toss the separate gun into the bushes
and push the Spire back into my handbag. Now, I have to arrange my features
into a mixture of shock and fear…I have to pretend to be a helpless girl. I
quickly blink tears into my dark blue eyes and put my hands around my chest. I
let the shaking start as I heard footsteps, loud and thumping footsteps. A boy
came around the corner, he may have been around eleven or twelve, and he
screamed. It was a rather high-pitched and irritating noise, and I refrained
myself from wrinkling my nose in disgust. The screaming atrocity was followed
by another boy, who looked several years older. The elder one went and knelt
beside the woman, he looked rather shocked and confused. That’s when Screaming
Atrocity saw me. “Miss” He jabbed the other boy and pointed in my direction. I
tasted the salty tears in my mouth, how I hated that taste…I reveled in the
fact that I didn’t do it all the time and I wasn’t weak. The boys approached
me…they didn’t seem to suspect me, which did not surprise me in the least.
“Is…Is that lady dead?” I let my voice quiver as I stared at the elder boy with
wide, terrified eyes. “Yes, Ma’am” I broke down into fake sobs as he said this,
pretending I knew the woman. “Did you happen to see anyone?” he asked, then
quickly added “Ma’am” as If girls were strange creatures that could bite if not
given respect (which is true, so follow the stupid lad’s example!) “I heard
something in those bushes over there” I pointed to the shrub where I had thrown
my gun “I thought it was a rabbit maybe, something small and sweet, but before
I could look, I hear a bang and the lady lay still.” I then exploded into
terrified sobbing. “Thank you Ma’am” Screaming Atrocity nodded to me as he and
the other boy ran over to the bushes. I pretended to look pitiful as I set off
in the direction of the Carter mansion. I’d had enough with the helpless girl
act and I wanted to do something dangerous and difficult. I wanted to stab
someone, I wanted to punch someone and I wanted to do it now. But, I was
staying with the respectable Lord and Lady Carter, and I was just a helpless
girl there too. I had to maintain my act till I had situated a better
establishment for anger and pointless brooding. I came upon the large stone
Carter House, which was rather impressive for an unheard of town! I quickly ran
up the steps and knocked on the door, smoothing my mini cape in the process. I
waited several long minutes…then the door was opened by a rather terrified looking
maid. “The Lady told me to give you this letter and shoo you away.” The maid
handed me a slip of paper and backed up a bit, almost tripping on her skirts.
“And WHY must she ‘shoo’ her houseguest away in such a rude manner, may I ask?”
I resisted the urge to throttle the maid, for she was acting as if I had the
plague. It wasn’t as if I’d been particularly nice to any of the staff, but no
one was. “She-she felt it was best Miss!” oh, grand, the girl is stuttering
like an idiot now! “Well then! Tell your ‘Lady’ that she shouldn’t expect to
have more visitors! I will tell everyone how hostile she was and how I was
thrown out onto the doorstep like a flea-covered animal! Tell her she may not
expect a reply to her sweet little ‘letter’ and that she may not have a good
day!” I glared at the maid, probably scaring her out of her wits, but she
nodded and slammed the door. I took a breath, trying to calm my rage. I did
rash things when I was angry, for I was a very irritating creature. I was
livid, how dare “Lady Carter” throw me out of the house I wished to occupy! I
always got what I wished, and I was never thrown onto the streets…EVER! I
rushed back down the path, kicking up as much dirt as possible in my wake. If I
was to be turned away, I wouldn’t show I liked it! Once out of sight of the
house, I turned my attention to the “letter”.
Dear Lady Snitchtree,
I hope you have
enjoyed your stay, but I must inform you that it must not stretch any further!
You have embarrassed my noble family name and spoiled the mood of my household!
My splendid darlings have had their sweet minds dampened by your disgustingly
non-dainty ideas! I find that you are NOT the lady that everyone in this town
thinks you are, and I detest that no one sees this but I! I am aware I am being
dreadfully rude…but I see no other way to put forth your horrid manners! I weep
over the fact that such a girl could go so amok! You have such potential, but
you only use it for your own greed and to spoil children with your creative
mind! This is not the time, nor place to have singular ideas! Even you must
obey the law and do as you are told! I hope you take some time to think over
your wrong-doings and come and be civilized with us true ladies.
Kind Regards,
Lady Carter
I wanted to laugh at the foolishness of this
note, for no one ever says things like these to Lady Permelia Snitchtree…and if
they do…they end up dead! I felt so giddy with unimaginably silly glee that I
felt inclined to reply to this note! I must act witty and deniably make Lady
Carter seem dreadfully stupid (which is not a very hard thing to do) and I must
do it right this minute! I pulled a slip of paper out of my handbag and started
to write.
Dear Lady Carter,
I am very amused
that you think me anything but elegant and fine! I am offended indeed and I
will no longer be staying in your humble home! As for your thought that I have
a dreadful influence on your little “foundlings”, you are probably right, if
you want them to grow up dumb as doornails! Little Andromeda needs to learn how
to hold her own and say something besides “Yes Miss” and “Thank you Miss”.
Little York needs to learn that he is not going to be a spoiled pet his whole
life, and he needs to grow up! He’s thirteen, darling Lady Carter! As for
Edith, I think she shouldn’t change a bit! She’s been secretly rebelling under
your overly large nose…and it quite suits the young thing! I bid you a good day
(though not wonderfully good) and hope you may take some time to think over
your main principles in life and change them to something much more
interesting.
Good day,
Lady Snitchtree
P.S. My dear Lady
Carter, please do not mention this letter to anyone. You are right, I am very
much a dreadful thing…but I like to keep my beautiful act up, so I caution you
against informing your lovely husband or friends with the contents of my
letter. If I find you have tossed aside my warnings, I have ways of finding
people and making them sorry they didn’t heed what they were told.
When I finished with my fine address of the
esteemed Lady Carter, I called out to a village boy and gave him a sweet to
bring the letter to the mansion. “And you better deliver it!” I added with a
snarl, for I couldn’t be nice to anyone today. The boy nodded as I positioned
my hat right and dived into the woods. Everyone knows that the woods
surrounding Little Hill are actually a secret dirigible factory, and I need a
dirigible! I felt the sweat trickle disgustingly down my brow…landing in a
puddle on the bridge of my nose. I hoisted my skirt, the bustle being rather
large, it was hard to manage. “Bloody skirts…” I was definitely a lady, but a
lady who had business to attend to and did not want to waste time holding my
skirt up! The forest was a dense one, covered with poison ivy and big trees
with spiked branches. The perfect place to hide a perfect steam-powered
factory! Of course, no one knew this factory existed, since it was run by
someone who was not…favored by the Queen. I heard a noise in the distance…a
little chugging sound which usually came with mechanicals! So…the factory had
mechanicals! They must be stolen ones…since there has been a shortage of parts
lately and only the richest have been able to acquire so many! I smoothed my
corset and stuck my head through a bush, almost unbalancing Lord Frederick.
Yes, I have named my hat and I am not the slightest embarrassed about it. I
think that every good hat deserves a title (as hats are the most fashionable
items possible! I have made-up a very fine quote which requires much praise in
its perfection! “Ladies without hats are people without souls!” it’s
outrageously popular in the town called my head. I can’t seem to interest any
other social lady in it! How dim-witted they all are! I pulled my mind away
from the depths of hat-thinking and into the real world, where I saw about a
dozen mechanicals guarding a giant white dirigible. All of the mechanicals were
slightly lopsided, broken down machines that have been hastily re-assembled. I
glared at the machines, for I couldn’t shoot or stab a shiny metallic body! I’d
have to dis-assemble them! That would be nearly impossible without raising the
alarm first! I allowed myself a sly smile, this was absolutely perfect. I
ducked out of the bush, careful to make as little noise as possible, and crept
along the tree line towards an opening in the clearing. The mechanicals were
all lined perfectly around the balloon, staring straight ahead at nothing. They
appeared to be functioning though, for the sound was a loud one and I could see
twitching. I put on my best innocent letter-carrying face and burst into the
clearing. The mechanicals did not immediately react (for someone can startle
even the most metal mind) and they just stood there blinking stupidly. After
about a minute, the biggest one stepped forward and tried to bow (never ever do
that if you are made of metal). “Who are you…and what have you come for?” she,
for it was a female voice, had a surprisingly clear sound for a machine,
usually mechanic speech came out warped and scratchy. Her voice was like
butter. “I am Miss Ethel Clearly, and I have come to deliver a message to your
employer! He is advised to get out of the town urgently! For it is rumored he
is to be attacked by an army of mechanical monsters this very evening!” I
pretended to pant, as if I had just run here very fast. “Who are you, exactly?”
I asked, because it happens to be helpful if you know the enemy’s name. “I am
Number 45 but you may call me N45.” She attempted a bow again, grating my ears
with the scratch of metal on metal. “May you go speak to your employer? I also
advise you send a few of you to the edge of the woods to warn if an attack
comes.” I innocently gestured at the bushes. N45 nodded, she clearly trusted
me, which was a horrible decision on her part, but it worked well for me. “I
will go speak to master. N13, N15, N36, N23 and N43 will all go to await
attack. N12 will come with me, and the rest of you guard the ship!” N45 and
another mechanical disappeared inside the large gray building I hadn’t noticed
(I’d been too busy being polite to machines and figuring out how to get that
dirigible.) A few other mechanicals rushed into the woods. That left about 5 to
dis-assemble or get past. This would be easy! I moved closer to the balloon…pulling an old
hammer out of my corset (What? I need to it put SOMEWHERE!) I moved fast,
slamming the hammer down on the mechanical’s head (weak point) and then moving
on to the next one. The good thing about mechanicals, is that they process
things very slowly…it may take the other ones 10 minutes to realize I attacked
their friend. I slammed another and pried apart the opening on the back of the
head. It was filled with cogs and gears and useful parts. I pulled out several
(for future ideas) and hopped into the dirigible. Two of the mechanicals were
still upright, but I didn’t have time to attack them. They were angrily trying
to keep me from taking off, but they clearly weren’t made for doing anything
other than watching things. I pulled the shiny lever on my right and the thing
conked to life. It was a complete mess…very dusty and sloppy…but I’d clean it
up and it would be an absolute beauty! Perfect for my needs! I waved cheerily
to the mechanicals as I soared into the air. “Stupid machines” I whipped my
head around, lashing my braid across my neck and gave myself a compliment. Not
that it had been difficult; I had been doing these things since I was 3 years
old! This was for children! The wind whipped through my hair as the dirigible
traveled on. I was going to London now. There might be a message for me there.
My employer had connected me with Mr. Frank Charles, who happened to be a
message-carrier and a spy. He and his wife Lydia were very charming people, and
I think Lydia might be expecting a child. I smiled at the thought; this child
sure wouldn’t be a spoiled brat! This one would probably be raised to spy and
steal and kill. Just like me. Only I had to do it on my own! The wind swirled
around my face and the clouds lazily drifted pass. It was like the world didn’t
have a care. It was like a little storybook up here. But it was a lie! My life
had never been storybook. My father…I didn’t want to think about my father. I
had raised myself, been forced to steal! But I had found my passion…killing.
I’d met my employer when I was 5 years old, I had already killed people…but he
offered me a position and I took it. I killed his enemies and did what I
pleased and got PAID! I was his best assassin and one of the only girls. I was
perfect and I never got anything wrong. I was smarter than anyone! I crossed my
arms at this thought and smiled…for if my family saw me now…I mustn’t think
about this! It made me emotional and sometimes I let a real tear slip and then
I was weak! I didn’t want to be like those trivial people…thinking that having
FRIENDS and things is important! The only thing that is important is ME! I
don’t care at all about other people; and that’s how I like it! I shoved my
silly thoughts back into their little prison and held my head high, I was
important Lady Permelia, an assassin and the most elegant person on earth! I
could kill the queen of England if it pleased me to do so! I didn’t need to
worry about anything. I can handle everything. I stared down at the world
below, allowing myself to pity the sorry creatures who wasted their thoughts on
love and care. Who didn’t know how to kill or thieve for their own survival! I
allowed myself to look down on them and hope they were ashamed. For they should
be, I was free and they were trapped in their sorry boxes of happiness! I tried
to contain my thoughts, for it didn’t help to think such things, those little
beings were never going to change. I reached down and fingered the lace on my
belt (always keep some lace with you…it is very good for strangling people
quickly and with elegance.) My brain was a boiling pot of stew today…not to be
tampered with and not easily quieted. I would travel to London; speak with
Frank...then head wherever the letter told me to head. Maybe I’d stop in and
pay a personal visit to an old…friend and leave a dead body on the friend’s
carpet (I’m sorry…when I say friend I mean someone-who-is-going-to-die.) Little
Hill wasn’t very far away from London, and we were gaining quickly. I held on
to Lord Frederick as we descended in a nearby wood (you can’t really land your
stolen dirigible in the middle of the streets, can you?) I steered the thing
into a giant tree and prepared to jump out as it crashed (I can’t keep it…so I
must dispose of it). I leaped out onto a big tree branch and prepared for a
sorry landing. I didn’t hear any sort of crunch as I landed on my feet…This has
to prove I am perfect. I swept that runaway curl away from my face and jumped
out of the tree. I ran…for that crash made a bit of noise, and noise attracts
important people…and I would like to be gone before important people arrive. I
dashed through bushes and trees towards London, trying to make the least possible
noise and get the least possible dirty. I did not succeed in those affairs very
well (even perfect people get dirty when running fast through forests!) I
reached the edge of the woods just as I heard someone going into them a bit
away, they would find an empty, ruined balloon with no clue of who it belonged
to (unless of course…the owner wrote his name in it; for that would be
unfortunate!) I grinned, very improper, and quickly slipped out of the bushes
and onto a little cobblestone path, which, lucky for me, happened to be quite
deserted! I brushed off my cape and strode down the path, like I was a petty
little girl who admired flowers! I walked on for quite some time till I came to
a busy road full of busy people doing their busy things! I slipped into the
crowd and followed my mental map to Mr. Frank Charles.
Thanks...NutFreeG the novelist;)
BTW...this is totally un-edited, so I apologize for any strange grammar mistakes or mistypes or general weird-ness...I have not taken the time to edit;)
Yum...dinner...
Hello and Happy Christmas (eve...he he),
It is Christmas Eve and I am about to have dinner with my family...beef stroganove, creme brulee and caesar salad...YUM! And tomorrow morning I am in for the treat of cinnamon rolls! Food...it's almost making me drool...ah...food...I love food. Doesn't everyone though? Like Jennfier Lawrence...she is soooo awesome and hilarious...I was just listening to an interview with her the other day where she remarked upon how much she wanted some fries, it made me hungry! Anyway, I've never had Creme Brulee or Beef Stroganove before...but it smells delicous and sounds extremely French or Russian or some sort of cool European country-ish. I'll try to snap picks of the meal...as everyone loves to look at pictures of super good food they can't have...right? Or am I the only one who browses through baked goods on Pinterest for hours at a time, drooling like a puppy? Dunno...:) Anyway...Happy Christmas!
NutFreeG
It is Christmas Eve and I am about to have dinner with my family...beef stroganove, creme brulee and caesar salad...YUM! And tomorrow morning I am in for the treat of cinnamon rolls! Food...it's almost making me drool...ah...food...I love food. Doesn't everyone though? Like Jennfier Lawrence...she is soooo awesome and hilarious...I was just listening to an interview with her the other day where she remarked upon how much she wanted some fries, it made me hungry! Anyway, I've never had Creme Brulee or Beef Stroganove before...but it smells delicous and sounds extremely French or Russian or some sort of cool European country-ish. I'll try to snap picks of the meal...as everyone loves to look at pictures of super good food they can't have...right? Or am I the only one who browses through baked goods on Pinterest for hours at a time, drooling like a puppy? Dunno...:) Anyway...Happy Christmas!
NutFreeG
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